I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
