I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
