Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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