Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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