If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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