my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
