Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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