Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
