D3 body, D1 cock
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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