it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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