Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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