I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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