Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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