We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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