While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
