If that was your dad, he is hot
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i think my cat just said my name.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
