then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
