found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
