dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize