I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
