Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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