I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
