Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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