You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize