Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
