wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
