I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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