All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize