Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
