I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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