just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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