I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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