Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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