exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
