Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
