im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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