He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He passed out mid-signature
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
