can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize