my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
