Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well you can't waste a boner
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
