My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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