I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
