If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
