she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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