never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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