So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
