I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
