gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Where did you get a picture of my penis
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
