We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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