Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
