Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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