We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
smell my finger.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
