I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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