If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
3 2 1 whiskey
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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