Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Less talking, more tequila
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I lost the right to judge tonight
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
