put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
