Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
