5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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