Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
