do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So many bounce houses so little time
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
