thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
